Bootlegger

The annual Mad March Hare Sportive was on yesterday. It’s a ride I will always have a soft spot for, being the founder of the event back in 2007 (I think!). I organised the first 7 or 8 editions (can’t remember) before handing the reigns over and I’ve ridden a few since then but I wasn’t blown away by the last one I rode post-covid in 2022. I lost my mojo for it and not entered one since. It was the same this year. Despite all the fanfare about a previous organiser taking the event back under their wing and no doubt making it great again, I just couldn’t get excited.

Last week, all the pre-event socials were being posted and it peeked my interest a bit so I impulsively decided to just ride the course. No piss take though. Just riding the open roads. I had the route in my Garmin and I was self-sufficient. No feed stations or start/finish etc. I took the official route that started in Wythall and amended it to start and finish from my house. All in, the same distance and about 98% of the route.

Yesterday I got up a bit later than planned. I’d been up at 4am after stumbling on a cyber attack on our companies website which I had to address. That dealt with I went back to bed for a bit then got up about 8.30am, downed some breakfast and got ready to go.

The weather was forecast to be dry but windy so I’d taken the opportunity to take my mudguards off and put my carbon wheels on the bike. I rolled away just before 9am and was straight into a climb over the Lickeys to join the course. I was looking at at least 1500m of climbing so I dialled it back but the wheels felt like riding on air vs mudguards.

As I approached the island at the bottom, riders were clipping across from the right so I was straight into the middle of it. Left was a sharp uphill and then a left down through Rubery and up another steep hill before a steady climb up over the M5 and past the Waseley Hills. A long descent and the next climb up Clent beckoned.

I was slowly catching some riders which is always a motivator. At the summit I was offered water and jelly babies by a route marshal but I kindly declined.

I carried on down the super fast descent of St Kenhelms pass and out through the lanes crossing some busy A-roads to get to Kinver. A left here saw a big group of riders sprawled out in front of me up the climb ahead. Once over the top, a twisty descent gave way to the next climb with a clay pigeon shoot going off. It was so loud, it sounded like they were just the other side of the hedge. This climb has quite a steep start then eases off and drags to the top before a long descent to Arley and the River Severn crossing. The river was high but the floods had receded. Riders dismounted here and walked across the bridge. On the other side another refreshment stop was very popular with quite a big group of riders milling around. I picked my way through and began the steep climb away from the river crossing over the Severn Valley Railway at Arley station. Sadly there was no train but a few moments later I heard a whistle so I must have only just missed one approaching.

It’s amazing how quiet it goes when you climb among other riders. Particularly if it’s a hard one. Everyone seems to withdraw into their own little world. Nothing is said and all you can hear is heavy breathing and gears changing down. A quick glance across and you can see the concentration etched on their faces. I said hello a few times and was ignored. If I was telepathic I’m sure I’d be hearing voices telling me to fuck off lol.

The road upto Buttonoak had deteriorated since I last rode it. Big holes but riding slow up hill meant negotiating them was fine. I was aware I’d be turning out of the headwind shortly so I kicked on and began the descent skirting the Wyre Forest which culminates in a 25% 90 deg left hand bend. With my pace high, I rounded the corner and a horse rider was ambling down the hill so I had to brake a lot harder a lot sooner and very wide to not spook it. A marshal directed me around the corner and I was climbing again back upto Far Forest.

I have to say the signage and marshalling around the course was really good. Every junction had multiple, clear signs. Marshals atop the main climbs with water and snacks and clear directions when climbs started and routes split. Impressive and a world away from 2022’s event.

It was on the steep climb past Buckridge Lane that a peek behind saw me being caught by a couple of riders. They passed me just before the junction across the A456 and were caning it. I accelerated upto the junction to catch them but I got baulked by a car and had to give chase through the narrow lanes. A bit further on it takes a 90 deg left hander than drops quite steeply to a hard 90 deg right hand turn. I was going fast and saw them ahead drop down the hill at a pace that made me even gasp. The front rider turned right and the guy at the back obviously wasn’t paying attention and skidded and snaked past the turn almost coming off. I turned right and carried on, passed the rider who had stopped and said his mate was lucky.

It was full on tailwind now and they both caught me again as I passed the feed station. A little further on the guy who nearly came off stopped and asked if the Feed was back there and I said yes. He turned around and the guy leading him charged on and I never saw him again. Crazy speeds.

After dropping down Hurtle hill, I rode through Stourport and climbed Hartlebury Common. It was here a couple of years ago I began to feel it but so far I was feeling great. There were less and less riders in the distance but I was still catching a few. The climbing never stopped. Nothing big just short little kickers to sap you. I’d been quite conservative on the climbs and it was paying off. I was aware that Cobley Hill and The Holloway were the last two big ones and then back over the Lickeys home so I dialled in an effort without going into the red.

The organisers had put the sign that denoted the start of Cobley Hill, one hill too soon. It was Tutnall hill before Cobley where I passed a guy stopped nursing cramp. I caned the descent down Cobley Hill. I would have taken off over the canal bridge had I not slowed down. Good to see marshals there too for safety as it’s a blind bridge and potentially dangerous if you don’t know it.

The Holloway is a nasty climb towards the end. A real steep bitch but the long descent the other side made up for it before it was back into the cold headwind again. I passed a few weary looking riders pedalling squares and then it was the drag up Watery Lane where, at the top, riders went right to the finish and I went left and began my ride home.

I dropped down Weatheroak Hill and cut across to Lea End to pick up what was the early km’s of the route for the riders. I followed this back to Barnt Green and then turned left and rode up over Fiery Hill Lane and home.

113km, 70 miles, 1500m climbing done. I got home tired, not smashed and thinking maybe I should enter next year’s event.

..and for the riders thinking it was a bit naughty of me to not enter but ride the course. I donated £10 to charity for the pleasure of riding open, public roads.