I was in two minds whether to post this because I didn’t want to rub people’s nose in it or appear to be bragging or showing off but then I thought people are always intrigued how the other ‘arf live. I’m definitely not in that ‘arf so here’s my experience of three days of abject luxury in Tenerife.
A bit of background of how we ended up in a 5* resort first. Sally owns her own travel business and with her business come ‘fam’ (short for famaliarisation) trips and training events. And at these events, quite often there will be a competition. It was in a competition run by one her suppliers, a few months ago, that her business card was pulled out of the hat and she won 3 nights at the Royal River Hotel, Costa Adeje, Tenerife. Game on!
Thursday
Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago and the flights were booked, the first night AirBnB was booked (we didn’t arrive until 10.30pm) and we were ready. The flight out was late on a Thursday night. There were big queues at Birmingham Airport, something it’s become synonymous with this Summer but luckily we’d opted for fast-track through security because of the time of day. It usually gets worse through the day. That saved us a big wait and gave us just enough time to bag a beer in the departure lounge although £15.50 for two drinks was a bit steep. Robbin bar stewards!
The plane journey was bittersweet. Jet2 were great as usual. It was a bit late taking off but we made up time. I got to see a spectacular sunset en-route but the plane itself was full of families with young children. All tired, moaning, crying or being a bit feral. Sally hated it. I was zoned out for most of it with my earbuds in. I did question why so many kids were been taken out of school just weeks into a new school year though? Can’t say I agree with that.
We arrived on time. The usual tussle to get off the plane first ensued (why people?) with some nice close-quarter queuing on the airport bus. It’s never pleasant been that close to other people but the warm, evening breeze was nice. Passport control was one-long queue. Most of the E-scanners were broken. Sally breezed through and then panicked when I disappeared and couldn’t see me for a while. The scanner for my queue broke and I had to merge and then a very aggy Border Control officer, who seemingly did not like the British, snatched my passport off me and stamped it. Sally had hers thrown back at her too LOL.
The worse bit was over now. No bags to collect as we had carry-on’s only so it was straight to the CiCar hire booth. We always use this company. No queues, just simple and quick. Finding the car was straightforward and then we were off to find an innocuous AirBnB I’d booked in some housing estate about 10 mins down the road except the motorway junction we needed was closed so we had to negotiate a narrow unlit road that run parallel. Apartment found and car parked we dropped our bags and went off to find food. It was late. Checking the map we thought it would be too late for a restaurant and opted for McDonalds but that was shut for a refurb. Next door however was a pizza restaurant so we tip toed in there and I asked if they were still open in my broken Spanish and they were. The Europeans love a late dinner! Result! We smashed a couple of hefty pizzas and a glass of wine ( 4 euros!) then we were done. Tired and ready for bed.
Friday
We slept ok but local dogs barking in the morning woke us up. We didn’t have to check out until 11am so we decided to walk to a local coffee shop. No tourists here, just full of locals. Sally volunteered me to order a couple of coffees which I successfully negotiated and then it was a warm walk back to the apartment to pack up and leave.
Back on the road, our hotel was only 20 mins but we couldn’t book in until early afternoon so we decided to drive into Costa Adeje where parking proved a problem. Most tourists get bussed in so parking spaces are a premium. We tried a car park around the harbour but no luck and everywhere else on the roadside was just full so we decided to carry onto find our hotel and have a look around there as it appeared to be less busy.
We were only on the motorway for minutes before coming back off and dropping down past the Costa Adeje golf club to find the entrance to the Royal River hotel. You could tell it was exclusive. Villa’s hidden behind tall, private walls. We drove past and continued down a very quiet road to an old fishing village called La Caleta. This was much more our style. Quiet and relaxed. We easily found a parking spot and had a walk around the seafront before taking a seat in a cafe and enjoying a cold beer. Blue skies, blue seas, warm breeze, cold beer. It doesn’t get much better but it was about too.
One of the conditions of winning the 3 night stay was a personal tour of the hotel by the manager so when it was time we drove back up to the hotel. The garage was shut so we turned around and parked outside reception. Valet parking FFS!!! We were helped with our bags and the car was taken care of for us. In a breathtaking reception we were offered a seat to check in. Our rooms weren’t quite ready and we were a few minutes early for the manager so we we waited. Nosey me, had a quick scoot round, checking the rooms and the pool below off the balcony which was a wow! Even the gents smelt magnificent. The smell throughout the hotel was a thing we found out, something the owner/designer specified.
Eventually we were greeted by Yaiza, the manager who gave us a personal tour of each of the villa types and the facilities including the Spa and Gym. I don’t really need to say anything else, just have a look at the gallery below of the pics I took on the way round. It’s jaw-dropping. The place looked empty but it was actually 80% full!
See a full gallery of our Tour of the hotel here
Tour over we made a reservation for dinner. The car was gone. Valet parked for us and our bags were also taken care of but the room was still a few mins off being ready so we were offered a glass of Champagne while we waited. Complimentary off course! Then when we were ready we were lead to our River Villa. Opening the door is something I probably won’t forget. We got a brief tour, shown the minibar, fridge etc and then left to our own devices to try and contemplate what we had just walked into. Just luxury beyond anything I’d ever experienced. The stuff you see millionaires enjoy in the movies.
Our huge lounge area with 4K TV, minbar, full wine-fridge etc lead to our massive Super-King bedroom via sliding doors (+ another 4K TV) with adjoining en-suite with his and hers sinks, a huge bath, walk in shower and dressing room. Off the lounge were sliding doors onto our terrace with private plunge pool leading to the ‘River’ and a spiral staircase up to the roof terrace overlooking the golf course and sea-view. Stunning stuff.
The River is an 80m long ‘swimming pool’ that interconnects all the private villas. All have access by a gap in the back wall with it running down the back of each shrouded in luscious greenery. An amazing concept.
We stripped off and got in the pool because it was pretty warm and took a slow swim upto the big, communal jacuzzi at one end. I’ve never enjoyed bumming around doing nothing but this was ace and all ours for 3 nights.
After lazing around our villa for a few hours we got showered and changed for dinner which was in the rooftop bar. As with 5* luxury comes a limited choice menu + expensive food and drinks. For once we ignored the cost and just had what we wanted although I did bulk at Sally’s 18 euro glass of wine after paying 4 down the road LOL. It was light when we sat down and went dark as we ate which gave us a lovely night time view across the coast. Bill paid with no questions asked we retired back to our villa and decided to use the sun terrace to lie back and watch the night sky spotting satelites and witness the moon rise over the mountains so quick we could actually see it move. I’m understating that. It was huge and moving across the heavens like a minute hand on a watch. I’ve never seen anything like it!
Eventually we retired to our Super King sized bed, big enough for a small family and it wasn’t long before we were asleep. Day 2 beckoned
Watch out for Part 2 tomorrow!
Wow!